Did a Muslim Black Panther pay for Obama’s Harvard tuition?

Flak Towers in Landstrasse

Well it certainly was a wonderful evening. Muffin and I sat there together until the wee hours and enjoyed every morsel of the spectacle unfolding before us. I have decided not to build the fallout shelter in the basement and just hope that President Bush keeps taking his medication until Inauguration Day.

However, Russian President Medvedev has blamed the USA for the world’s problems and has announced new missile deployments in Europe. Missile deployments? Is this man being advised by Dick Cheney? Why in the name of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster would anyone who is not insane want to deploy missiles in Europe? Has he entered the MTV 'who is the craziest President’ contest? There is some stiff competition but he would certainly give it a shake.

I guess that Sarah and the Alaskan ‘First Dude’ will now start their run for 2012 and it will be interesting to see if the Republican party is unhinged enough to entertain the concept. More than 50 Million Americans apparently thought that Sarah Palin would be a suitable Vice President - and that is a truly scary number.

Incidentally – of all the totally loony far right wing hacks in the USA – Ann Coulter is by far and away the looniest of them all. She makes Bill O’Reilly look like Karl Marx. Her Blog is hilarious and should be compulsory reading - http://www.anncoulter.com/

Stories not to be missed include ‘Did a Muslim Black Panther pay for Obama’s Harvard tuition?’

There is a section on Wikipedia about Flak Towers and the link is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flak_tower#Flakturm_VIII_-_Arenberg_Park.2C_Vienna

According to a local Blog reader – the towers are so big and solidly built that to would be impossible to knock them down without using explosives – and this is not possible because of the proximity of residential buildings. So I guess they will be there forever and may be the last things left on the planet when we finally destroy it.

We don’t enjoy driving much as we should as we haven’t adapted to the high speed motorways - and are still a bit timid. Cate insists on driving when we travel as she says I drive to close to the edge of the lane – or the middle of the lane – or too fast or too slow – or whatever the case may be. Anyway – she got the Queen Mary up to about 140 on the A1 and was passed by many cars including some that could fit into our boot. I am not at all worried by fast driving – it’s the slow stopping that will be the problem.

The good news is that Melissa is coming from Paris for Christmas (but sadly without Merlin – and of course Henri). So I will need an extra duck from Stadtpark for Christmas dinner.

Once again I was the only customer in Massimo – at 12:30 – and there were three staff there. This place obviously does not make its money from being a café so I will need to investigate to find out what is really going on.

I had my first trip to the local Post Office to collect a parcel from Amazon. I was not home when it arrived so the Postie left a note in my letter box. This was a remarkably painless exercise and required very little action on my part other than to present my notice and identification. Most of the Post.at offices here are well hidden in side streets – and are very quiet. The few that are visible are always crowded and should be avoided.

I also managed a conversation of sorts with the meat person at Radatz in Landstrasser-Hauptstrasse and asked him for some meat for a goulash. I actually wanted it for a curry but don’t know the German word for curry yet – but figure they are much the same sort of meat. I will let you know. I have found that the answer to most questions asked by sales assistants should be ‘Ja, Danke’ and use this a lot. I have had a few surprises but mainly seem to get by. However, when I asked for a Coca Cola in Anker today the young lady tried to sell me some Orbit chewing gum – I think my accent needs more work.

It's election day!

This is Salzburg.

Election day dawned bright and sunny in Wien. It's finally over and I have given thanks to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for getting me through this ordeal unharmed and with brains relatively intact.

I went walking as usual this morning and took some photos of the Flak Towers on Neulinggasse. For those of you who are not from Wien, these are towers that were built during the war so that the flak guns could get clear shots at the Allied bombers who were on a mission to flatten every city and town in Germany and Austria – regardless of their military importance. They are enormous – and I am not sure why they are still there – but will try to find out. Perhaps they are to be taken down by Telekom Austria but they haven’t made it to the work orders for 1952 yet.

I have read a number of books about the deliberate campaign by the Allies to flatten German and Austrian cities and still think it was the worst mistake they made during the war – for a whole raft of reasons to numerous to go into here. However, one of the main reasons is that after the war there was apparently only one set of plans left – and no architects – so all the buildings erected in Wien between 1948 and 1975 look the same and are made out of the same awful stuff.

I am still on a quest to find out about meat so was browsing bookshops on Landstrasser-Hauptstrasse looking at pictures of meat (with captions). I filled in some gaps in my knowledge but couldn’t find a book that gives me what I need. I will search further. I can’t stay too long in bookshops looking at pictures of meat or people will call the police.

I am apparently supposed to have my passport with me wherever I go but keep forgetting it. I was asked for it when we arrived at the hotel on Friday night but they let me in when I showed them my residency card. So if I do get arrested for loitering over meat pictures I will suffer the consequences. If they then look at the car they will see how dangerous I really am.

We are just about to start the quest for driving licences and the first step is a medical examination. At this examination we have been advised to say that we do not wear glasses for reading – or else it involves another trip to the optometrist. There are many more steps after this but I don’t look to far ahead when dealing with the Austrian bureaucracy or I start to feel faint and have to lie down. There is apparently no driving test which is probably just as well as I could not do it in the Queen Mary -and after this length of time may not be able to drive a car they weighs less than 60 tonnes. We are hoping that the global recession may mean that we get our car before 2009 if other orders are cancelled – but don’t really expect that to happen.

A more realistic goal is for us to win a car in a competition so I have started filling in entry forms an sending them off. I am in the running for a Skoda Octavia and will know next Friday!

My favourite café is Massimo in Landstrasser-Hauptstrasse – but the Italian man who owns rarely has any other customers. I think this is because most of tables are for non-smokers – so the Viennese stay away in droves. I am sure he will come to his senses soon and dump the non-smoking table – and he will have a full café like every other on in the street.

I have been watching FOX for the last few days to see how badly they deal with the election of Obama. They are taking it very badly indeed and are becoming incandescent with rage that a (Gasp!) Democrat will once again occupy the White House. They have trundled out a number of not very inventive lies and today’s was the story that Obama has undertaken - when elected - to bankrupt the Coal industry. They played this story every hour. But what is the point as surely no rational undecided voter would watch FOX. Surely it is only for hardcore Republicans and people like me who enjoy a spot of Schadenfreude. Anyway it’s great fun and I am having a whale of a time.

I am planning on waiting up for a result – which won’t happen until at least 2:00 AM Wien time so it will be a long – but satisfying night.

Room with a crematorium

Well we went to Salzburg and had a wonderful time. We thought it would be cold but it was about 14 degrees – which is not nearly cold enough for us.

I had booked this hotel which I thought would be really weird – and it was. I had booked a suite on the basis that it was only €10 per night more than the double room. The room had a bath and a crematorium in it (Cate says it is a heater) and the picture shows what I mean.

The hotel also comprises the Mozart Kino where we could have seen the latest James Bond movie in German. I am not at all sure that this would have detracted from its attraction as an action movie but we had a lot to do and had to pass. I am also not convinced that Mozart would have been comfortable with the concept but after seeing his first ‘Mostly Mozart’ shop he probably would have been heavily sedated for some time. We did see where he was born but didn't buy his baby shoes which were on special for €19,95.

The Hotel also include the ‘Trattoria Domani’ which had an Italian menu – and to which we went twice. The first night because we knew we would get there late and so we had booked in – the second night because after walking up to the Festung and all around the city we were too tired to venture further. The Trattoria Domani on night one was staffed by Germans – and on night two it was staffed entirely by Indians. No I don’t know why Indians are running an Italian restaurant in Austria.

Our room was directly above the Trattoria Domani and the kitchen stove vented into the crematorium in the corner of the room. We enjoyed the aroma of many dinners at night and especially enjoyed the drunks leaving the restaurant late at night and throwing each other through the plate glass windows in Kaigasse. The receptionist in the hotel told us that this was their finest suite – I guess they use the others for commando training.

Salzburg is a very beautiful place – especially when it is shut tight as it was on Saturday because of the holiday. The only thing we saw open all weekend (apart from Mostly Mozart, cafés and restaurants) was the Trafik opposite the hotel. The owner opened for 15 minutes to restock the cigarette machine on the wall outside his store. The Austrians can go without everything except their cigarettes.

Instead of taking the funicular we walked up the hill to the Festung Hohensalzburg so needed coffee when we got to the top (this is our normal state). They didn’t have coffee so I had a cup of hot kitty litter and Cate wisely chose the mineral water. But I am not sure what I expected from a café that sold ‘Festungburgers’.

This is another ancient and magnificent edifice of the type which abound in Austria. We also went to a very large church which was first built in 763. It was of course festooned with angels and cherubs. We went to the MIrabellgarten where Cate took 163 pictures of the trees. We are not accustomed to real Autumns so leaves turning brown and falling off trees in large numbers are a real treat for us.

When we arrived in our room and looked out the window we saw that there was a truly gigantic rubbish bin on the footpath just below. We wondered what this could be for and found out at 6:00 AM on Sunday Morning. The Trattoria Indians had decided to empty the entire contents of an apartment into the bin – throwing things from some height. And I mean the entire contents, tables, chairs, fridges, radios, clothes – the whole lot. By the looks of the furniture I think this apartment had been hidden from view for more than 60 years. Maybe someone walled themselves in when the allies arrived in 1945 and the Indians found the secret doorway while looking for the last packet of Basmati rice in the back of the kitchen cupboard?

After sustained complaints from the hotel they stopped for about half an hour – recommencing at 7:30 and finishing about 9:00. It was a wonderful way to start the day and we set off refreshed for the day’s adventures.

Cate lost it completely last night when Muffin got hold of one of my socks and dragged it around the house yowling pitifully. Bill then tried to sit on her head. This followed the recent back-licking incident and other atrocities. Both cats were evicted from the bedroom immediately and have now been banned at night. They have plenty of places to be in the apartment or if they really want to they can sit outside our door and yowl. This won’t bother us because there are double doors into the bedroom so we won’t hear them. I know this seems callous but if you have ever been woken by a large cat planting its bottom on your face you will understand our need for remedial action.

This morning a very small bird landed on the terrace and died. I had just been out on the terrace cleaning out the cleaning out the Kitty Litter but I am sure that it wasn’t that potent. Goodness me – if small birds are that sensitive it’s amazing that there are any at all. These Viennese birds need to toughen up a bit. I’d suggest a weekend living in the Kaserbrau Hotel and Mozart Kino in Salzburg.