I don't have my heated bathroom floor inspection certificate

I went to pick up the firewood holder from the Feuerhaus in Gumpendorferstrasse and dragged it home in the rain. It was more difficult than I thought it would be – but most things are.

The firewood holder is now next to the fire and is stacked with wood and compressed sawdust – the cats can’t wait.

Each time we have a fire they lie in front of it all night and then the next morning sit in front of it again waiting for another fire. We only have fires on the weekend because we don’t have the time to laze about on week nights – well Cate doesn’t because she works most nights in her study.

Someone rang Cate and asked if they could come to look at the heated floors in our bathrooms. Why I have no idea – there is nothing wrong with them but perhaps there is an annual heated floor inspection by the appropriate authority. No one came so we are now on a default list somewhere and I expect to be fined for not having a current heated floor certificate.

The other day there was a knock at the door and a man wearing a bandana and with lots of tools and other implements hanging about his person indicated that he wanted to come in. Sure I said – why not. He fiddled about with the telephone connection for a while and then left. I have no idea what he wanted or what he did. I had made some disparaging remarks about Telekom Austria in my Blog so he may have been disconnecting our phone – or bugging it. We don’t use it so I just don’t know.

I find there are enough things to worry about here without trying to fathom the incomprehensible and it’s easier to go with the flow.

I hung the pictures today and tonight when Cate gets home she will explain to me why they are in the wrong places – are at the wrong height – and in fact are the wrong pictures. I will make notes and promise her that this will be fixed tomorrow.

I have been reminded by my children in Australia that I did get Fathers Day presents before leaving and son David has also reminded me that he gave me a very fine going away present. This is a Boxing Kangaroo pen that lights up when you write with it and it has pride of place on my desk. Melissa in Paris has used the ‘la fete des pères is in June' excuse so I will make sure I catch up next year.

We are off to Budapest on the weekend so we have advised the OAMTC to warn other motorists that a very large silver monolith will be careering down the road tomorrow evening.

What if Donald Rumsfeld was black?

Cate in Beatrixgasse (Our back entrance)

Klaus Emmerich, the chief US political reporter for Austrian broadcaster ORF has said that Barack Obama is ‘not civilised’ enough to be the US President. He said that ‘blacks are not as far advanced in the civilisation process nor in their political progress’. (Imagine what he would have said about a black Donald Rumsfeld!)

Klaus is 80 so we can accept that he is on the way to Ga Ga land - but this is still a disturbing statement – and is consistent with other evidence of racism in Austria. ORF has not sacked him – so they think its OK for him to say what he did.

In the recent elections the right wing parties in Austria got 29 percent of the vote - which is indeed a scary number. However, God was so displeased with this result that she allowed their leader, Jorg Haider, to get blind staggering dunk and drive into a tree at 140 kilometres an hour. This was very decisive – but may have been an overreaction on her part. Perhaps she was watching FOX and was having a bad start to her day.

I have discovered the most expensive way to buy firewood in Wien. This is to get it from Hornbach and have it delivered. The delivery costs were more than half the cost of the firewood. It seemed like a good idea at the time but this is another case of defective reasoning – instances of which of abound in my life.

The delivery man rang me and said something which I assumed was that he was about to arrive. This is because the delivery window I got from Hornbach was from 8:00 to 12:00 and when he rang it was 11:40. Apparently what he rang to say was that he was stopping in to see his grandmother in Simmering and would be having some coffee and Guglhupf - because he didn’t turn up for some considerable time. I am not sure why I am always get the scrag end of any delivery window. If it’s 8-12 why can’t I ever get 8?

On the subject of wood - apparently the compressed sawdust is environmentally friendly because it is made of waste material. Cate says I can’t give it to the cats and have to use it in the fire. So they will miss out on this valuable source of roughage and Bill will have continue to chew my shoelaces.

We still haven’t hung the pictures because Cate can’t make up her mind what ones she wants and where they should go. Last night I got her to tell me which ones will be hung and which ones go back to the basement. This is progress. The next part is harder as she has to decide where they have to go. Then when she has done this – and I have put them up – she will tell me where they should really go. This process will take a while and if I can hang on long enough we will change apartments and can start again.

I realised today that by leaving Sydney in early September I missed Fathers Day so got no cards or presents from my children. OK – I can deal with that – but I didn’t get my usual card from the Cats - and they were here with me. Cate says it is because they immediately adopted the local Vatertag which is in June. I am not sure I believe her and in any event that still means that I missed out completely.

The German teacher rang today and said we can start next week. My first lesson is on Monday and I would like to start with meat.

Perhaps we don't have the whole ghastly retail driven krapfest frenzy here?

We discovered the Alt Wien Kaffeerosterei in Schleifmuhlgasse on the weekend on the way to see James Bond so I went back there to buy some coffee. We are having all sorts of problems finding a coffee we really like so I have bought four different types to test them. I gave Cate some coffee the other day and she said 'this is perfect' - and I said 'this is the last of our favourite from Sydney'.

We also saw Bobby’s for the first time and admired their array of all things English (and they do have Vegemite). Strangely enough – we now eat almost no Vegemite as I usually have Kipferls or Croissants and jam for breakfast. Also strangely enough – the Austrians call Croissants by that name. They probably couldn't think of a 16 syllable word to describe them - or is is caught up in the 'Impossible German Words' section of the appropriate government department.
I called into the Feuerhaus in Gumpendorferstrasse to find out about our wood container – ordered some weeks ago. Well part of it is there and the other part is MIA. The man said he would call me when he found it – and he did – today – Holy Toledo!

This is important as we have ordered some wood which arrives tomorrow and I don’t want to have to pile it on the floor or the owls will start to nest in it. We have still to use the last of the compressed sawdust but I will dispose of this quickly by breaking it up and putting it in the cat food. What I can’t understand is why Austrians still have open fires which one assumes are not very environmentally friendly.

But then………..today I saw a man bring a gigantic hairy animal (I assume it was a dog but it may have been a small horse) out on to the footpath and he smoked while it deposited an enormous pile of dung onto the footpath. He then dropped his cigarette butt in the street – hopped on his animal and rode into the sunset. I guess they don’t really care that much.

The modem and wireless key work fine when they can see each other and for the first time I have a stable Internet connection. However – we don’t really want wires running across the floor so I am inching them apart to see if they can cope. If they start to suffer from separation anxiety we will just have to put up with wires.

Silvia has put the stuff about Christmas and Advent on the Virtual Vienna Net today and for the first time I have been able to see what is required - it's a bit daunting. The Christmas tree doesn’t go up until Christmas Eve so there will be a bit of pressure – but Melissa will be here so I will have some help.

There is no Santa Claus here – we have St. Nikolas. On the face of it he appears to be much more attractive that the fat sweaty fellow in the red suit who infests shopping centres in Australia. He is older but appears to be much more urbane. He is probably a Democrat.

I am not sure yet but is seems that we may escape from the non stop playing of Christmas carols in shops and the whole ghastly retail driven crap fest frenzy that is Christmas in Australia.

Sarah Palin says she is putting her political future in God’s hands. Now I know God has a bit on at the moment with the Middle East, Afghanistan, Somalia and various other catastrophes throughout the world - not to mention getting President Obama to sort out the chaos in the White House - but I hope she/he has an eye on this one because it is very, very important.